Ode to Carl – Ottava Rima

A poem in Ottava rima was our brief,
But in brief; it won’t happen, all right?
I planned a mock heroic epic, of a thief,
Instead, he stole my sleep last night.
Writing verse of a particular sort,
Requires time and wit, which both I lack.
My midnight thoughts have come to nought,
I’ve let the team down; I’m just a hack.

A mock heroic epic tale of crime
Does sound the sort of thing that could be fun,
But, in the end, it’s just a silly rhyme;
If, in the end (and during) you had none,
For G-d’s sake then it’s just a waste of time.
Were it our undoing, best it’s not done.
If it’s not fun, well then it’s unpaid work
And what fool would do that? I’d rather shirk.

And here was I, this poetry novice
Thinking Ottava Rima a Microsoft font.
But to write the epic tale of a goddess
My neophyte skills have left me want.
But writing is something that gives me solace
So I’ll make my mouse my magic wand
And send my lines to those that know
And have the best chance of giving it a go.

Ottava, Shmettava, this whole rhyming talk,
Has reached its pinnacle, we’re all halfway done
Yet this work’s no more than erudite crock
With nary some flesh or worthy good pun.
I better step in to praise, not to mock,
A true, odic legend that Twitter has spun
‘Bout lasses and lads who team up for verse
Infinitely better than this, not worse.

Ottava Rima? Hakuna Matata!
No worries with eleven syllables here.
You say pentameter I say “Tomata”!
They’re absurd, are those rules to which we adhere!
Words can flow like those boats at a regatta
But it doesn’t mean I’m making sense, my dear.
We’ll try something new for this month as a brief
I stare at my effort muttering “oh grief”.

Ottava Rima’s a heroic feat
and soon performed in ink we’ll see its end,
in courageous scribbling there’s no defeat.
Heroic mock of self is better penned,
in rhyme and stumbling meter, you can’t cheat.
And soon I raise my glass to poet friends,
Across the internet – we made it through.
We’ve showed how Vogon poems can be brewed.

After a month’s of respite we are back with a heroic effort at Ottava Rima…
This is a collaborative effort of @sleepingdingo @stair71 @vivchook @permabloom @troublegummer and @brudberg
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October 25, 2014